Joe Buck and Tim McCarver
These two go together like a pair of cancerous
testicles in an ill-fated sack: On an individual basis, they cause great
discomfort and should be surgically removed, yet you will likely survive. But
together, they leave you feeling hopeless and empty inside. There is something
about the combination of the ever-full of himself Joe Buck and the ever-full of
hot air Tim McCarver that makes viewers want to punch through their TVs and
then use the shards of glass as a makeshift scalpel with the hopes of removing any
memories of the unspeakable horror of their telecast.
Gems like “Right now a walk is as good as a home run,” “Tonight ground balls are finding their way out of the ballpark,” and “Jerek Deter” make it glaringly obvious that McCarver took a few too many Steve Carlton heaters to the face during his playing days, though I wouldn’t be surprised if that was a frequent off the field occurrence between the two as well. Speaking of off the field, McCarver makes sure to make an ass of himself in this realm whenever possible, from having water dumped on him by Deion Sanders, to his brutal TV show, to releasing embarrassing albums of himself swooning like a low-rent Robert Goulet (editors note: YawkeyTalk offers a belated congratulations to Robert Goulet for having the Mustached American of the Year award named after him by the prestigious American Mustache Institute). Speaking of mustaches, Norman Chad sums up Tim McCarver as well as anyone, saying that he’s a person who “when you ask him the time, will tell you how a watch works.”
While Tim McCarver’s show is probably equal to Kramer’s Merv Griffin talk show in terms of its delusion and viewership, Joe Buck’s HBO show actually generated some hype before it got canceled after a lengthy three episode season. Granted it was only because Artie Lang took over the show to the point where I expected him to claim eminent domain over Joe’s wife, but at least somebody watched, albeit on Youtube. In addition to that failed show, Joe Buck continues to be pompous and is quite simply the Shane McMahon to his father’s Vince McMahon, the George W to his father’s HW. Huge shoes to fill, tries too hard, and by all accounts grade A blowhards. When McCarver joins up to with Buck it’s equivalent to a lonely nerd volunteering at a nursing home with the hope of finding someone incoherent enough to be willing to spend time with him. Just truly depressing stuff that FOX should be chastised for subjecting the American public to.




Recent Comments